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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Newly Translated From the Latin

After watching the August 1, 2006 NewsHour interview with Condoleeza Rice on the mideast debacle, I think I've stumbled across a new rule for interpreting and parsing political dialogue:

When the speaker uses more than two Latin words consecutively, they don't have a clue.

It doesn't matter what the topic of discussion is, any time you hear a string of more than two Latin words together on a talking head show, you should immediately verify your hip waders are within easy reach.

Of course, the most popular phrase for all political discussions is quid pro quo, which loosely translated into English means "your ethical lapse negates my ethical lapse, therefore we should both win re-election." This phrase is frequently used in close proximity to words and phrases such as "cigar", "golf trips", "interest-free loan", "IPO shares", "executive jets", "book deal" and "indictment."

Another phrase most Americans have heard but don't fully understand is e pluribus unum, which most believe means "out of many, one." Recent research into the etymology of the phrase has in fact determined the phrase means "out of many taxpayers, one bloated bureacracy", which is not only a more accurate translation, but seemingly a better description of our direction.

Condoleeze Rice seems to be determined to singlehandedly add another one to the list of Bartlett's Familiar Obfuscations, status quo ante, which translates into English as "wistful nostalgia for the state of beneficial corruption we had before this current mess." I think she's used this in every public appearance she's had for the past month.

At the rate this administration is going, there will be plenty of prima facie evidence for nos populus to consider when voting these people out of office.

Res ipsa loquitur.